in my wildest dreams 9 years ago, it's a dream come true today
Serang, 31 Agustus 2019
in my wildest dreams 9 years ago, I dreamt about meeting this guy and hugging him so tight, as we were kids and dumb and life was easy. I remember I shared too many things with this guy online: I learnt English for the first time, I can tell I fell in love with his soul, I learn about writing poetry in English about him and everything about that was so dreamy.
but then we grew up, we grew old, we got busy in life. for a while we stopped talking. sometimes I just sent him a text to tell him about how I've been. but sometimes we didn't talk at all. I went on too many dates lately. as he traveled around the world chasing money, but somehow I wrote too many shitty poems about this guy, Alok Anand. (Some of my friends always asked why and for whom those poems in English I wrote earlier, now I can answer it's for this guy but I guess he never really read them cause my English writing was so baaddd)
for long I thought we forgot each other. I thought we were just another online-love-story-friends-sort-of-things. I thought what I dreamt about 9 years ago was just another teenage dream. what did I know when I was 16? what was in my mind about a guy living thousand miles away from me?
at first, I thought I was crazy. my friends called me crazy like how could you ever had such a strong feelings for someone you never met and that's been going for years online? but today I proved myself that I am such a crazy girl and I wanna be that crazy all the time. I can't help myself not to cry, I can't help myself that I love him, and it's weird but I just wanted to please meet me someday.
and the universe shows its magic just in time. all of sudden, out of nowhere, I got the chance to meet him for real. I can tell you it's an unplanned date. I can tell you it's so amazing. it's a dream come true. it's magic. just the night before we texted and I decided to travel 3 hours drive in the morning to another city just to meet him for the first time.
I can't believe he sat next to me for real. I can't believe I talked to him in person. I can't believe I touched his skin. I can't believe I ate nasi goreng with him. I can't believe I hugged him so tight. I can't believe I cried on his shoulder telling him that it's so beautiful. I can't believe I looked at his smile so close. I can't believe I starred at his creamy brownie eyes. I can't believe I met him for real. for real goddamn for real. can't believe it's really happening.
I don't have any other words. It's a blessed thing. have you ever dreamt something so bad for so long and when you stopped hoping for it, it comes true? that's what I felt about him. fuck it, it's so fuckin beautiful!
and this is, another life lesson. I mean, it's out of my mind. no matter how far you are, even when you didn't talk for years, if you really care and love that person, then the universe will find its power in such a magical way. he told me about his journey and all in my mind was like, "goddamn is it even real?! is it you the guy I've been talking to on the internet?!" and he was so funny and cute and innocent and lovely and everything was easy. I wished time freeze at the time. I wish he could stay a little longer. for the first time I felt the miracle was true, it's on him.
but still, life happened. shitty life happened. deep in my heart I whispered please don't go. please be with me cause no one other would love me the way he did. but he gotta go back to India. I gotta go back to my whatever life around Jakarta. but love is love. it's much more than just bf/gf-love or bestfriends-love, it's much more than just a lover but it's bigger and has no shape. I learnt things from him and that's the best. loving him means I pray him for the best of his life. loving someone as a human, no granted, nothing just please be good wherever you are and always remember me.
he takes his way, he's gonna marry another woman someday, he's gonna sail more seas and islands, he's gonna be somewhere but I am here always praying for his best and happiness.
One day, we will meet again. I wish to meet him again. Now just take care and live your life good.
happy birthday in September, Alok Anand. you are a good guy, a good person. and you will always have spot in my heart. I couldn't thank you good enough as I can tell that you made me who I am today, that I grew up knowing you exist in some part of the world is a lucky beautiful moment. Thank you so much and I am sorry that I ever treated you so bad in the past.
from my wildest dreams 9 years ago, come true today in 3 hours. somehow that's the best 3 hours I ever had.
I will see you again someday. we will. the universe will find its magical way again for you and I. I believe in it. now put your big smile on your face wherever you go 🙂😇 have a great journey, my big Indian captain!
see you again when I see you again, darl
in my wildest dreams 9 years ago, I dreamt about meeting this guy and hugging him so tight, as we were kids and dumb and life was easy. I remember I shared too many things with this guy online: I learnt English for the first time, I can tell I fell in love with his soul, I learn about writing poetry in English about him and everything about that was so dreamy.
but then we grew up, we grew old, we got busy in life. for a while we stopped talking. sometimes I just sent him a text to tell him about how I've been. but sometimes we didn't talk at all. I went on too many dates lately. as he traveled around the world chasing money, but somehow I wrote too many shitty poems about this guy, Alok Anand. (Some of my friends always asked why and for whom those poems in English I wrote earlier, now I can answer it's for this guy but I guess he never really read them cause my English writing was so baaddd)
for long I thought we forgot each other. I thought we were just another online-love-story-friends-sort-of-things. I thought what I dreamt about 9 years ago was just another teenage dream. what did I know when I was 16? what was in my mind about a guy living thousand miles away from me?
at first, I thought I was crazy. my friends called me crazy like how could you ever had such a strong feelings for someone you never met and that's been going for years online? but today I proved myself that I am such a crazy girl and I wanna be that crazy all the time. I can't help myself not to cry, I can't help myself that I love him, and it's weird but I just wanted to please meet me someday.
and the universe shows its magic just in time. all of sudden, out of nowhere, I got the chance to meet him for real. I can tell you it's an unplanned date. I can tell you it's so amazing. it's a dream come true. it's magic. just the night before we texted and I decided to travel 3 hours drive in the morning to another city just to meet him for the first time.
I can't believe he sat next to me for real. I can't believe I talked to him in person. I can't believe I touched his skin. I can't believe I ate nasi goreng with him. I can't believe I hugged him so tight. I can't believe I cried on his shoulder telling him that it's so beautiful. I can't believe I looked at his smile so close. I can't believe I starred at his creamy brownie eyes. I can't believe I met him for real. for real goddamn for real. can't believe it's really happening.
I don't have any other words. It's a blessed thing. have you ever dreamt something so bad for so long and when you stopped hoping for it, it comes true? that's what I felt about him. fuck it, it's so fuckin beautiful!
and this is, another life lesson. I mean, it's out of my mind. no matter how far you are, even when you didn't talk for years, if you really care and love that person, then the universe will find its power in such a magical way. he told me about his journey and all in my mind was like, "goddamn is it even real?! is it you the guy I've been talking to on the internet?!" and he was so funny and cute and innocent and lovely and everything was easy. I wished time freeze at the time. I wish he could stay a little longer. for the first time I felt the miracle was true, it's on him.
but still, life happened. shitty life happened. deep in my heart I whispered please don't go. please be with me cause no one other would love me the way he did. but he gotta go back to India. I gotta go back to my whatever life around Jakarta. but love is love. it's much more than just bf/gf-love or bestfriends-love, it's much more than just a lover but it's bigger and has no shape. I learnt things from him and that's the best. loving him means I pray him for the best of his life. loving someone as a human, no granted, nothing just please be good wherever you are and always remember me.
he takes his way, he's gonna marry another woman someday, he's gonna sail more seas and islands, he's gonna be somewhere but I am here always praying for his best and happiness.
One day, we will meet again. I wish to meet him again. Now just take care and live your life good.
happy birthday in September, Alok Anand. you are a good guy, a good person. and you will always have spot in my heart. I couldn't thank you good enough as I can tell that you made me who I am today, that I grew up knowing you exist in some part of the world is a lucky beautiful moment. Thank you so much and I am sorry that I ever treated you so bad in the past.
from my wildest dreams 9 years ago, come true today in 3 hours. somehow that's the best 3 hours I ever had.
I will see you again someday. we will. the universe will find its magical way again for you and I. I believe in it. now put your big smile on your face wherever you go 🙂😇 have a great journey, my big Indian captain!
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