Sorry That I Hurt You

I thought I have been a good girl
Thought I was a good person
I have been just dressed up to look like one
I hate people who leave me
I call them liars and fakers in public
I blame my exes and cry a river cause
they couldnt love me the way I wanted
I throw things and god and the rocks
when I can't get when I wanted
I scream to my best friends on the phone
cause my dreams aren't coming true
while it was all about my mistakes
I push them away cause I am hard to deal with
I force them to understand the wars in my head
When I don't even know how to love myself right
I broke their hearts without I even noticed
I wrote them bad poems
Threating them with beautiful words
cause I thought it was cool
I thought they deserved karma
while every bad thing are from my head
and my words, my expectation, and my obbsesive bitchy side
I create the pain in me and ask their responsibility to heal me
Just realize now that people walk away
Not because they are the bad ones
But maybe I caused the toxic positivity in them
that's too much then for years
These days I make my lover feel blue
and I still get the nerve to ask you for rainbows
now that I say I am sorry
I really am

no idea what's really going these days. I got the fear of losing people I love, but now I feel like it's me who burnt them down. I never really meant to make them run from me, but maybe we got lost in tranlation. I don't know. my ways to show my love to people I love is sometimes dangerous. but I love them, and I love him the most. no idea, but maybe I should pray today.

PS: you might wanna listen to my playlist. im cryin to this.

Dev.