Bad Blood (Written by Terdevan)

“BAD BLOOD?”

Sincerely, Terdevan

I start to think. Think it all like the stars in winter. My head is spinning around. My hands shaking hard like I’m about to cry, cry over the things I can’t even say. I press the rewind button: I remember the last day I hugged a girl. She is so beautiful and humble. She talked about her days and I talked about how I wish it could last forever.

Wasn’t that sweet, my dear? She drank an orange juice from my heart when I laughed at her silly joke about that old lecturer talking hard about the economist in her class last afternoon. I saw all the rainbows in her eyes; colorful and colorful. I smiled. She said she will stand by me forever and I don’t know, but I guess she was right. She said I look good in black and I said yes. She said, “Don’t be afraid!” and that was everything. I can remember the feeling I got when those words fallen her tongue; it was God’s gift…

By repeating her favorite song on the radio, I can remember it all; how she called my name on the phone at 4 am, how she walked with the positivity hanging on her steps, how she introduced herself to my friends, how she held my hands, how she danced over Swift’s songs but no one cared, how she said she loved Old English literary works, how she said I can beat the storms, how she learnt the French Kiss with me, how she felt bad in the Teaching Course, and how she slept with that angel sighs. I just know all about her this much, but I see it all gone, by now.

Wasn’t that cruel? She was, you know, the reason why the stars won’t shine, cause her eyes shined brighter than them. She was, I know, the reason that I didn’t go to another taste of red lipstick, I didn’t go for some other girl even when I wanted to, ‘cause she got it perfectly. She got it perfectly, just if she could stay for more.

I miss her now and then, and I remember thinking, “Hey! My Dear!” She said that to me almost every day. It sounded like a daydream in my ear, but I didn’t hear such a thing these days. I’ve been asking myself, “where the heck is she goin’?” but all the answer I got was… 

   I love her. I love her and everybody knows that. They said we could be the best couple of the year and I said, “Amen!” But, she is the only one who didn’t know about that. Oh, wait! She already knew that. I told her every day. I whispered through the phone before her bed time, “Hey, Sarah. I love you! You know, I mean it. Okay! Good Night!” She didn’t reply it until the morning light. I told her to wear her sweater ‘cause it’s too cold outside and I don’t want her to get ill, or fever, or something bad happen to her. I played guitar and sang her that Ed Shereen’s lyrics when she was sad. I took her to dance in the rain last semester and I kissed her right there. And I guess, by that kind of signs she should’ve been known that I love her. But, she didn’t.

Today in the morning class, I saw her smiling. Smiling to another guy. “What a crap!” I brag to myself. I saw her holding someone’s hand in the elevator going to the sixth floor, and I said I’ll be just okay. Okay? No, I’m not. How could it just be okay when she is all I think about at night?

I waited her, standing there with my hand in my pocket, holding tight the memories we shared. She said, “Hey! What’s up?” as she kept her eyes out of the crowd. “I’m sorry if my hands couldn’t hold you that tight, but I’ll bet you shouldn’t hold his hand.” I tried to hug her, okay, I might be impolite. But, you know someday I’ll be graduate from this university and that will be happen soon. I’ll find a great job and earn money, and I’ll be that rich man with suit and tie. When the day’s coming, I’ll bring her a ring, sing her a song, get on my knee as I’ll say “Hey! Sarah, will you marry me?” I swear, I am going to do that ‘cause I m totally in love with her.

It’s okay if she didn’t love me, but what was the kiss? What was the hug? Was it a joke? Oh, you know I think I wanna kick someone in the ass now! I hate that kind of feeling. No one wanted to be cheated that way. Calm down, she could just say sorry to me and I’ll forgive her in another way. But, she said now we got a bad blood. What a bad blood! If this was a blood, I’ll love her till my last blood. I thought, HEY YOU, I swear, when a guy says he loves you, trust me he meant it. She just gotta say YES, but she says NO!

Okay! Good Bye! The End.

Sincerely, Terdevan.